For two years I’ve been dealing with what I refer to as an internet stalker, for lack of a better word. I don’t know what else to call someone who is constantly copying, not only, my blog content, but also blog titles, Facebook status updates, tweets and even Twitter profile. Yes, you read that right: Twitter profile. I have the screen shots to prove it. She’s even admitted to having files saved with my content from over the years to use as reference.
I have tried to keep this a private matter, and deal directly with the person in question, but that clearly has not solved anything. So this is my attempt to put it all out there, in hopes that it will get this person to stop.
The person I am talking about is Amber. She is not a stranger to me. We are married into the same family. In fact, family members know about the situation, but I’m advised to ignore it because Amber “doesn’t get it”.
I spend hours upon hours blogging, building my network, making my blog unique to fit my personality. It’s not just a blog. Not to me, and I would assume that any other blogger out there feels the same way.
I’ve told this person time and time again to just stop! It isn’t my job to be on her, and to slap her hand as if she were a child behaving badly. When is enough, enough?
Amber has decided she would like to become a “professional” mommy blogger and make money. I didn’t realize that being a mommy blogger is the newest venture to making big bucks. But just so you are all aware of this plagiarizing blogger, her new blog is entitled, “The Momologues: Motherhood Captured”. Hmm… I don’t know, but that tagline sure looks familiar and I’m willing to put my money where my mouth is and say that she didn’t come up with that herself. Can anyone tell me which fellow mommy blogger has a tagline extremely similar to that one?
I’m anticipating some backlash about this post, but this is my blog. I shouldn’t have to defend my content or posts. Nobody makes you read this blog. If you don’t like what I write, then leave! I will gladly take a loss in numbers if that is the case.
My ultimate goal with this post, is to not only get her to stop copying from me, but also to prevent her from copying any other blogger.
I’m open to hearing your feedback. After two years of dealing with this crap, I’m at wits end as to what else to do.
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I am SO sorry that you have to go through this. That is VERY wrong of her to do this. Have you contacted the police, since it is your intellectual property. And she HAS admitted to stealing it.
Kasey Kirby Goodnough recently posted: Rocky The Zombie T-Shirt Review & 15 E-Gift Card Giveaway
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IT would appear that the title in question is a mash up of several different blog titles. There’s a blog out there entitled the mom-o-logues, and the title “motherhood captured” reminds me VERY much of Dear Crissy.
I’m not attaching my own site to this for the first time in ever, because I don’t want MY content stolen, and I have no idea how to help you other than this bit of info.
Ugh, can you remove my reply after you read it please, I didn’t realize comment luv still recognized me! so edgy now!
Just deleted the comment luv, Heather. Dear Crissy is EXACTLY who I was thinking of with that tagline.
Thanks, I’ve tweeted, facebooked, @messaged a couple of tweeps. Nice to meet you! I’m following you now. Incidentally, I found you on that Mom Blogs retweeting service. So, hey, it works!
I’m sorry you are going through this. Plagiarism-for that’s what it truly is- is simply theft, theft at it’s worst, because your stealing a work of love. I actually wrote about how bad this sucks not that long ago, because it happened to my favorite cookbook author-Zoe Francois.
It’s sad that your family isn’t backing you up. Even a tiny blog like mine takes a buttload of effort and work. Two thumbs down.
I wouldn’t say that they’re not backing me. It may just be that they don’t understand how much time and effort and passion goes into my blogging, and ultimately she is just stealing all my intellectual property. Just like you’re not allowed to plagiarize at school, you aren’t allowed to plagiarize in the blogosphere. If she wants to blog, then blog. But if she can’t express what she wants in her own words, then maybe she needs to find a platform other than blogging to share her experiences.
That is just awful and anyone with a blog knows that this is your personal space, one that takes time to write, read comments, network, etc. This person that you mentioned started following me on Twitter a few days ago and I saw her account is protected so I haven’t followed back. I have a woman who has recently been stalking my blog. She doesn’t have anything nice to say but she spends a lot of time on my site reading my posts and being nasty.
When it comes to blogging, you really put yourself out there and when someone comes along like what your dealing with, I know it feels like such a HUGE violation. I think putting this post up was the right thing to do. I hope it helps your situation in some way. xx
Elle recently posted: My in-laws are coming and I’ve already reserved a spot for myself in the psych ward just in case
I know she’s going down my Twitter follower list and following all the same people. How else would she find 1000+ people to follow in less than 3 days.
Thanks, Elle. I really hope this post makes her stop.
Wow….that is sad and pathetic! Hope this resolves the situation….
Yes, it is.
As part of this “sweep it under the rug family”, you know that I have always supported your decisions even when I didn’t agree with them. It sucks that you have to put it all out there, but you have exhausted all you other options. I hope you are not looked at as a bully or a victim, but as the awesome mom and wife that you are, trying to protect what is rightfully yours. I hope now that you are able to find peace with this whole situation.
Thank you, Mikie. I will never be at peace with this as long as I know she is blogging, because I have no reason to believe she is going to stop.
I have agonized over this sort of thing so many times. It makes it worse when it’s someone you know, and guess what? Been there too.
Those who tell you to just accept it as flattery, have probably never had anything taken from them in this way. It’s a very violating feeling.
All of that said… the more popular your blog becomes, the more you will encounter this. It’s never OK, and I have been very outspoken about the matter, however, it will eat you alive if you let it. I can tell that this has taken a toll on you already, and I hate to see anyone have to cope with such ridiculousness.
People suck!
Crissy recently posted: It’s Your Blog- And You Can Post How You Want To
Yes, Crissy. It is a violating feeling. I do my best to not let it bother me, but it’s happened consistently for two years. First it was my personal blog that wasn’t promoted to the public, now it’s this one, in which I’m investing lots of time and energy to promote, and grow. It’s comforting to know that fellow bloggers understand exactly how I’m feeling.
Oh gosh, I am SO sorry you are going through this : ( (I just stumbled upon your blog via twitter today – I just started following you, RobynLeeINC).
I have the SAME problem with someone I know as well. It’s horrendous & vile what internet stalkers/bullies are doing. I actually just deleted a whole bunch of what I wrote here to you, because I’m sure she will come visit this site after seeing that I’m following you. I don’t want to give her any attention.
I hope you can find some solace in knowing that you are not alone. Keep your chin up!
Thanks, Robyn. It’s absolutely disheartening that it has gone on for so long. I’m extremely sorry you have to deal with a similar situation. It really is unfair to put so much time and effort into something to make it yours, then somebody comes along and steals it. I honestly don’t understand why someone would want to be a blogger if they aren’t able to express themselves using their own words.
You’re most welcome! I know just all too well how frustrating & awful this is. My experience with this has been going on for FIVE long years now. I used to call her out, I’ve tried reasoning with her, asking nicely what’s going on, etc. Nothing works.
We just have to realize that if their lives were SO fullfilling & happy, that they would NOT have the time to do this. It wouldn’t even cross their minds. I feel sadness for these people & hope and pray that they find TRUE happiness & contentment in their lives so that they can leave ours alone!
*Hugs*
Sorry you are going through this! I just noticed her as a new follower on Twitter. I will keep my eyes peeled.
And I feel like that just further proves my hunch that she probably went down my follower list and followed everyone on it. Yet, I was told that she wouldn’t/hasn’t done that.
It is also a post title from photographer Heather Starr in San Diego. I hadn’t stumbled across the Dear Chrissy site before now though and, yes, a striking similarity.
Best wishes as you rise to this challenge. The good news is that she doesn’t appear to be indexed very highly by Google.
PS I’ve also given Kate @ Mommy Monologues a heads up too.
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Thanks, I hope the outcome works out for the best.
it is sad to me how often this is occurring in the blogging world. i understand gleaning inspiration from a fellow blogger {don’t we all do that, regardless?} but outright plagiarism and idea theft is so pathetic in my eyes. i could never respect a blogger for doing that.
having had it happened to me previously, i know how frustrated you are. but when it comes from your own “family” – that’s so wrong. i hope you find peace in the situation, friend. you truly have one of the most beautiful blogs with well-transposed posts. having someone take all of your effort like that is sickening.
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It’s one thing to be inspired by another blogger, it’s another to steal. Thanks for the kind words April! (((hugs)))
That reply expressed it best. I get inspiration from so many different women, but I’ve never wanted to Copy them. I want MY own ideas/material/posts! What a malicious personality.
Kate recently posted: {May the 4th Be With You}
Leilani- I am so, so sorry. This is such a violation of not only you, but now Crissy. (and who knows who else) What are your next steps?
Amy recently posted: How to Prepare For & What to Expect at BlogHer ’11
I have no idea. Someone has threatened to report me to Wordpress for libel, and I just received a text message calling me some not-so nice names.
This is no a libelous post. the burden of proff is on her. She must prove that the statement was false and that the statement caused harm.
Besides, WordPress can’t shut your site down because it is self-hosted.
mamikaze recently posted: making time for mamikaze
Imitation is flattering but copying is theft. @DLoesch owns the title “mamalogues” and there is a play “The MOMologues” that I’m sure would appreciate a heads up that someone is using a similar title maliciously. The content theft needs to end but the joke is on her if she thinks she is going to make money as a momblogger.
I just looked and her URL is giving a 404 error
mamikaze recently posted: making time for mamikaze
Exactly!
Hi! First time visitor, here, and newest subscriber – howdy!
I am so sorry this is happening to you. I think your blog is wonderful, continue what you’re doing, and don’t stop simply because someone else wants to be jealous of your successes. You are true to yourself, and others see that. Astacia (Mamikaze) is absolutely correct, so is Crissy. Stick around and keep doin’ what you’re doin’
Love & hugs!
Lisa @ Crazy Adventures in Parenting recently posted: Out of the Mouth of Babes Part 14 – The Baby Sis Edition
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I can’t believe someone in your “family” would steal something you work so hard on. I just went to her blog: themomologues.com, but it says:
Not Found
The requested URL / was not found on this server.
I wonder if she finally got the message?
Let’s hope! *keeping fingers crossed*
wow, this is a horrendous situation to be in. i’m so sorry you are going through this!! btw….i got a server error thing when i clicked on her link.
melissa recently posted: Wanted- Big Girl Panties
Thanks, Melissa. Yes, it’s been taken down.
I am SO sorry to hear about this! I love your blog! I know that it must be very difficult to deal with because she’s a family member. It would be easier to prosecute a stranger. Personally, my blog has a copyright on it. And I have a personal lawyer review all of my disclaimers before posting them. If anyone were ever to copy me and not give appropriate credit and ask for permission (like my copyright states you have to do), it would not take me a second to contact my lawyer. From the looks of your blog….you have a copyright too! But again….I know how difficult it is to deal with problems of this nature when it involves someone close to your loved ones. You might want to let her know (and others in the family) that she can be prosecuted for copying others on the internet without permission….and probably will if she keeps it up. It’s one thing to coincidently post something similar to someone else (like I had a post about my liking of snaps and hook and loop and the day I was going to post it, I saw a fellow blogger post the same thing…of course our views were slightly different, but I always think it’s funny when I have an idea the same time as someone else….so I tabled it and will post it in a few months…) But out right copying or ‘playing on words’ is not right and she can be penalized for it.
Keep up your good work and I hope this all blows over for you soon! Us fellow bloggers have to stick together! If I can help….just let me know!
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Thank you. The support I’ve received on this post has been incredible. I’m fortunate to have my fellow bloggers.
This sounds horrible. Her name sounds familiar, but I can’t place why. I wonder if she “liked” me on Facebook or something? Anyways, I can imagine how frustrated you feel right now and I will send thoughts of this putting an end to it for you. I don’t know how I feel had I had someone stealing my work. Eek!
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She probably did, Marni! And thank you! It sucks to have your work stolen.
I am so sorry that you have to go through this. I can’t even imagine someone doing this. Let alone family!! I just don’t see the thrill in stealing (which is totally what this person is doing) someone’s work. Being a blogger takes time and it takes a whole to build up your network, something that just shouldn’t be taken. I really hope this person stops. It boarder liners stalker and a little lonley honestly. It’s like they want to be you so badly. Really really creepy!!!
Very creepy!
Hi Leilani, I am a local preschool teacher who stumbled upon your blog (which is great by the way!), and was shocked that I actually know the person you are referring too! My friends and I have experienced the same problems with her copying from myspace layouts, and facebook posts. She clearly has no imagination and spends her entire life copying from other people. It is sad, and I am truly sorry that you have to deal with this, especially for so long. I had read about her starting her blogs from her facebook posts.. was wondering how she game up with the title because the girl can’t even spell correctly! I have known her for many years and have been putting up with her internet shenanigans for far too long. Please let me know if there is anything I can do to help you.
I can’t explain how glad I am that you found this post. I feel vindicated! Its clear she has a problem with copying and stealing. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! Finding a local person that she has done this to further validates my issues with her.
Well hon, it looks like you may have finally gotten through to her! Her Twitter and her blog have been taken down. I hope that if she ever decides to return to the blogosphere, that she creates original content and doesn’t bother you any longer.
I think that you were right to write this post. You should not have had to deal with this situation and you know your bloggy friends are here to rally around you! You have a beautiful blog that I know you have worked hard to make it what it is. I appreciate your genuine posts, the friendship you’ve offered since I “met” you on Twitter, and your transparency in both your writing and your Tweets. You’re awesome Leilani, so I see the appeal in wanting to copy your stuff, but that’s just ridiculous! There is no point in blogging if you’re not being yourself and I hope that she realizes that.
Thank you, Jamie! Your kind words mean so much. I’m lucky to have a bloggy friend like you!
Wow Leilani, I can’t imagine being in this situation. I think you did the right thing writing the post, what choice were you really left with?! It looks like a step in the right direction has been made (her blog is giving a 404 error.) Hopefully if she ever decides to return to blogging she will be creating her own content.
Tamara recently posted: Its National Pound Cake Day! Celebrate With A Strawberry Shortcake Parfait and A Giveaway!
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Plagiarism is wrong WHEREVER you do it. Be honest at all times. Give crediit where credit is due. Your family member is hurting her credibility with PR and other bloggers by not “blogging with integrity.”
I have experienced the same “family” acceptance of wrongdoing. My close family member encouraged another close family member to use my job on a job application. Yes, that’s right the family member used the job I worked at for a summer, with the dates I was at the job location as her own. The family member had very little work experience. I don’t get this…even so many years later. It is unethical to claim that you worked at a job when you didn’t. She’s lucky that the job she applied for weren’t thorough enough to check her job references.
Oh, that’s horrible, Jill. I don’t understand why people do things like that.
Oh and I am stopping by from MomSparkMedia!
That’s sick. It’s one thing to be inspired by another person’s blog, and even make a mistake once and “borrow” something from someone else’s post w/o properly giving her credit, but this is obviously intentional. And from a family member? Sick.
I’ve never not attached my blog to a comment before, but the whole thing makes me nervous.
I don’t understand why she’d want to copy anyone’s stuff anyway. The whole idea of a blog is self-expression. She obviously doesn’t get it. If your content doesn’t reflect who you are and your thoughts, feelings and opinions, it’s just a load of crap anyway.
Boo hiss.
I’m sorry you’re going through this mess. Not cool at all. It super sucks that’s your hand was forced like this and it had to be turned into a public affair for her to back off. The twitter profile blows my mind, btw. That’s just a whole bagful of bizarre.
MomSparkles got your back, mama!
I couldn’t have said this any better myself: The whole idea of a blog is self-expression. She obviously doesn’t get it. If your content doesn’t reflect who you are and your thoughts, feelings and opinions, it’s just a load of crap anyway.
I <3 my MomSparkles!
It really sucks that people will go to such lenghts to attempt to make money or become a professional. But people will see here for what she is. It takes a lot of work to have stellar content or write an in depth personal post. So I completely understand how you feel about your content being ripped off. I hope you are able to work it out with her.
Sometimes family is the hardest to get through too. People seem to treat the internet as a free space with no legal remifications. It’s a take take take, I have a hard time explaining to my own sister that when she takes a photo of a movie star from anywhere on the internet and changes it in photoshop that it is not hers.
Good Luck!
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wow! i have heard of similar things but to know that it’s someone you actually know. that’s a whole new level of shittiness!!!! so sorry
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Creepy, huh?
I came over from MSM. Crazy! So sorry you’re dealing with this. It looks like bringing it to light in public helped since her sites are gone.
Her sites are down, but she definitely put up a fight. I received a phone call from the local police the other day.
How horrid!! Amber should be ashamed of herself. And I think your family needs to grow some balls and tell this chick to cut it out. I am so scared now. I hope no one ever copies me!
Alison, I just have to tell you that my husband got a kick out of your comment. He loved your choice of words, and so did I. Lol. Thanks!
I am so sorry to hear that this is happening to you. I can only imagine how much harder this must be because you know this person. How can she not feel that this is a problem and should not be done? I hope this gets better.
1stopmom recently posted: Saturday Sharing
Thanks. I’m still dumbfounded as to why she continues to do it even after I’ve repeatedly told her to stop.
I’m SO, SO, SO GLAD This has a happy ending.
Heather recently posted: Meyer Lemon Beignets-just in time for Mardi Gras
Not too happy. She got the police involved yesterday.
Leilani,
First and foremost I’m so sorry you have suffered this injustice for so long. I’m glad that she is “down” now. I will say that reading this has taught me so many lessons. I think one of them is that if this happens stand up for yourself and be heard. You are brave and I think you did the right thing.
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Oh trust me, although I feel I was left with no other choice but to make this public. The agony, distress, and sorrow that comes with it is nothing I would wish upon anyone. It’s definitely not an easy thing to do, especially when it involves family.
i copy and paste and make sure to link it back to who ever posted it and that no thinks its mine.so that who ever wrote it get credit and new readers.i have had the problem as you in the past they even cut fixed there hair like mine and tried to use my name and it was someone i use to be friends with.
girl..I am so sorry! How frustrating and ridiculous! I can relate in the fact that I had a “copycat” basically re creating the creations I would make in my Etsy shop and then selling them in her Etsy shops..using same tags,same photo techniques .. same names!!! INSANITY!! I had someone tell me ” well imitation is the best from of flattering” well girl I can say no it is not!!! I am sorry that you have to deal with such a simple minded person who obviously does not have enough imagination or even self respect to branch out and be HER OWN person!
Alison recently posted: Holiday Christmas Headband Red Black and White Flower Headband Baby Child Toddler Infant Headband
I dont know why a link to my shop is showing up..feel free to delete .. I have no idea what happened
Can you report her?? Or can your readers go to her page and report her? With so many people reporting her maybe they’ll shut her site down. Just a thought. It’s very sad that she can’t come up with her own content.
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I’ve been dealing with this for 3 years and she won’t stop. I keep screenshots of everything because she goes and deletes once she’s called out: http://www.thecakeathomemom.com/2011/12/never-ending.html
As someone who has been there/done that, I feel for you. I’m curious as to why you haven’t seen an attorney though for copyright infringement. They could start with a Cease and Desist letter and if she doesn’t comply, then start an action against her. Bloggers have the same rights as journalists so you do have a leg to stand on. If it’s been going on for two years and she hasn’t stopped, even after you asked her several times, I think it’s time to get an attorney involved. Your work is your work and you didn’t give permission for it to be used. Good luck!
I would call her out more on it. Every time she plagiarizes you, comment and link back to the original post that you made and show people what she is doing. Write posts about her every day, put her name out there as a BULLY, STALKER and A THIEF daily. Hopefully the mom blog community will support you and will see her for what she is and ignore her and she’ll get bored or bombard her with so much criticism that she can’t handle it and stops.
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